Reimagining Old Fears

I have always had a fear of clowns.

Maybe it’s their mouths; they’re so large. Large enough to swallow small children whole.

When I was a teenager, I got tired of my childish fear and wanted to rid myself of it. I thought violence would be the answer; so I imagined the most frightening clown I could think of, with large staring eyes and long sharp teeth, I imagined a whole army of them, and then I beat them to a pulp in my head. I smashed their round noses against each other, yanked out their rainbow coloured hair and swung them around by their oversized shoes.

And from the red remains, they arose, reborn; zombie clowns with missing limbs or an eye hanging out of the socket, ready to eat me more than ever.

So I did my best to think only of puppies the rest of that week, and to this day I never go to the circus, or watch zombie films for that matter.

But sometimes, they just turn up out of nowhere with their gloved reaching hands, and I have to go to the bathroom until I can force them out of my mind.

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  1. i’ve always hated and feared them, too –


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