
(Credit: Rykardo on DeviantArt)
The wind brought in a fine spray from the sea, which settled on her bare arms and made them sticky and salty. After a long day of beachcombing, she withdrew to a small cave, where she roasted crabs and apples over a fire and licked the salt from her lips as seasoning.
She was cautious when she climbed further inland, and she never went into the water. The rocks were slippery with algae and most of them were sharp enough to cut flesh.
However, she did not resent the traitorous rocks.
They kept the people away.
Harry
/ January 19, 2017Came here from a reblog.
Your story is succinct and acts as a good hook for a longer piece. If any criticism, it’d be that “In fact, she thanked them,” is not very subtle, and pulled me away from the character.
Even shorter and sweet would be to cut out this “she thanked them,” bit entirely. As readers we know that she doesn’t resent them, because they keep the people away. We can put two and two together.
Nice story. Would like to find out more about this little? girl. Testament to your story telling ability that I am already giving this person an identity.
W. R. Woolf
/ January 20, 2017Thank you for taking the time to comment 🙂 I see what you mean and agree, so I have deleted that line from the text. Thanks for your help.