77 Test

her_love_by_lisa_of_the_moon-deviantart

(Credit: Lisa-Of-The-Moon on DeviantArt)

She raises one eyebrow and studies the man on the other side of the table. Is it a test, she wonders. Maybe a trick question? His jaw covered in its nine o’clock shadow is set in a serious expression and his voice when he asked her had been level, but the question itself had seemed so obvious.

‘Nnnooo…’ she sits back in her chair, ‘I do not think that it is all right to lie.’

He sucks at his teeth.

‘In my opinion,’ she continues, ‘one should always tell the truth. Always.’

‘So what you have told me here today…’ he stares her in the face.

‘It’s all true,’ she stares back, ‘every bit of it.’

He pulls a hand through his hair.

‘You don’t believe me?’ she asks.

‘I believe you should be locked away forever for what you did to your family.’ He sighs and gets up, pushing the metal chair away. ‘But after what I’ve heard, they’ll probably just throw you in a loony bin a couple of years.’

‘It was just a couple of pranks,’ she smiles, then giggles at the red memories.

He shakes his head and slams the door to the interrogation room as he leaves.

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Acephalous

photo credit: swordsandarmor.com

photo credit: swordsandarmor.com

‘How’d you describe,’ began Cassidy tipping her police bowler to one side to scratch her bald scalp, ‘the victim?’ She let her eyes travel over the crossed sabres on the wall, down to the smouldering fireplace and back up to Vincent, his heavy lidded eyes studying her with mild boredom.

‘Acephalous,’ said Vincent.

‘What?’

‘Acephalous.’ Vincent leant against the mantelpiece and his pointy elbows threatened to penetrate the fabric of his suit. ‘Headless.’

‘I saw that. We’re still looking for the bloody head.’

‘Look at the essay he left on the table,’ said Vincent, ‘that should paint you a vivid image.’

Cassidy turned and picked up the three closely written pieces of paper. After a while she grunted.

‘In the rare cases where he expressed any sort of thinking,’ said Vincent, slipping a sabre from the wall with a sound like an inhalation, ‘it was never clear what part of his body he used to do it, but I very much doubt his head was involved.’

‘What?’ Cassidy shuffled the pages.

‘Finding his head is irrelevant,’ he stepped closer to Cassidy.

‘Not to find the bloody killer, it isn’t,’ she said.

‘I assure you it is,’ he raised the blade as she turned.

The Man who Blinked too Rarely

He didn’t blink.

That is, he blinked, but he didn’t blink enough. Oh, it was enough to fool all those idiots down at the advertising department; I don’t know why I didn’t fire them all ages ago. But he couldn’t fool me. I noticed, the very first time I spoke to him. He blinked as an afterthought, as if he had to remind himself to do it once in a while, and that was how I knew.

Of course I had to do something. It was practically my company, I could not let my employees come to harm, just because they did not see the danger and I was too slow to act. So I made a plan that very evening to get rid of him.

It was easy really. The next day I just made sure to push a few deadlines forwards so everyone in the advertising department had to work a bit late. Then just as he was about to finish, I asked him to help me carry some boxes upstairs. I can act quite the damsel in distress if I have to. When we had two boxes left we were the only two people left in the building. So we put the last boxes in the office on the seventh floor, and I said:

‘Phew, those boxes were heavier than I thought,’ I fanned myself with one hand, ‘do you mind if I open the window?’

‘Not at all,’ he said. So I opened one of the large windows and lent my entire torso out of it.

‘Careful,’ he said, ‘that looks dangerous.’

‘It’s lovely,’ I said, ‘come, try it.’

He poked his head out of the window, and I wondered if he suspected that I knew.

‘Isn’t it nice to be cooled by the wind?’ I asked.

‘Yeah you’re right,’ he said and lent out a bit further. I felt in my guts that it was then or never, so I crouched down a bit, grabbed him just under the knees and tipped him over. Unfortunately, he managed to grab the windowsill, but I was quick. As he yelled something at me, I found a paperweight and smashed it down on his fingers until he let go. When he hit the pavement, I was satisfied that this robot would not be coming back.

However, his fake blood was rather well made. So well made in fact, that the police arrested me the next day.

But you, you’re smart like me. You won’t be fooled, will you?

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