Performance Anxiety

(Credit: William Haefeli)

(Credit: William Haefeli)

It’s been a while.

It’s been a long while since I last posted something (before the brainstorm) and it’s been an even longer while since I reliable posted something for more than a month at a time. This time I fell into a dreaded writer’s block, or maybe it would be more accurate to call it a writing avoidance, since I haven’t been sitting in front of a blank page and pulling my hair out, but avoiding the page altogether. I don’t know why, but every time I thought about writing I felt a great aversion to even opening Word.

So the reason for the updating a brainstorm is twofold.

Firstly, it’s an idea I’ve had for a long time, but since I considered it “cheap” to some extent, I never used it before.

Secondly, because it was something I could actually make myself write.

I just wrote that I did not know why I had an aversion to Word, but that might have been a slight alteration of the truth. I actually am pretty certain that I had performance anxiety. I was just too worried that whatever I wrote wouldn’t be good enough. Letting myself publish a brainstorm helped me get past that anxiety; if it’s unedited it doesn’t have to be great. And I must admit that for me, this blog has always been more about making me write more than it has been about publishing great content (sorry guys). Of course I hope that anyone reading my stories will enjoy them, but if I get so obsessed with the thought of how they will be received that I stop writing them, then I’m doing everyone a disfavour.

I can’t make any promises, but I hope that Word will hold no or at least less terror for me now, so that I can get writing properly again.

I’m still interested in knowing whether you would like to see more brainstorms though.

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