65 Horror

“A disembodied hand crawled across the street, as behind it zombies in skimpy nurse uniforms turned their unseeing eyes towards me. If only I had not showered that day, but the fresh fruity scent of my hair drew them right to me. Such cruel irony; you know I have always dreamed to die by being torn apart by sexy nurses or policewomen, but although the nurse uniforms were revealing, the zombies were not at all sexy on account of their rotting flesh. And I’m not into males, zombies or no. Oh the horror! The unspeakable horror!”

“You could have just said that you didn’t have time for a shower this morning,” I said.

“When the zombie apocalypse comes, you will wish that you too smelled of dead rat,” he pointed an accusing finger at me.

“Sure,” I put in my nose plugs, “let’s get this over with.”

And we drove up to the lake to dump our failed virus experiment.

Back From The Dead


A half moon looks down on the graveyard which would be quiet if a tomcat had not chosen the top of the surrounding brick wall as the stage to serenade his mate from. A cold breeze makes a clump of pines shudder as it makes its way into the graveyard. It races over a wreath of Red Tinted Sunflowers, then a vase of wilted Lilies, but looses momentum at it strikes a black lump of stone set in a bare patch of earth. There is no scratch of explanation on the stone, just a smooth blank surface reflecting the moonlight.

The tomcat’s song reaches a crescendo and a hand thrusts up through the earth, clawing at the dirt, pushing it aside, making way for another hand and soon a head and torso. Crawling from the grave, she smiles.

She has returned.

A Zombie-Creating Zoril

Zombie Aid 2, Stop, Zombies!

Zombie Aid 2, Stop, Zombies! (Photo credit: purplemattfish)

She had a pet zoril and it made his fear zymotic diseases reach its zenith. No matter how much zeal she showed in making him at ease, he treated the zoril like it was a zeppelin filled with hydrogen or an unprotected wire which might zap him at any time.

He made “safe-zones” where it was not allowed and she exploited his high zest for zeugmas to try to sneak it in anyway. When he realized what she was doing, his lips first closed as if they were zipped together. Then, when she said there was zero reasons for him to fear the zoril so, he uttered a: “Zounds!” and said curses involving all the animals of the zodiac before warning her that unless she wanted to begin the zombie plague, she had better back off. At that she picked up her zoril and thrust it in his face.

It of course bit him at once and during the week following the incident, he did indeed turn into a zombie.

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